I was amazed when my wife showed it to me.

We were cleaning files over the weekend and came across paperwork related to some of the different businesses we tried before settling on our current occupations.

Let's see, we had a scholarship search service for high school students; I did some travel writing (never sold any articles, but my wife has); we had a 900# dating service (no one called); we dabbled in purchasing & reselling excess merchandise (there were reasons most of the stuff was leftover, plus we're not big shoppers); we traded commodities for a while (mostly trading our money to the broker's pocket), and I sold personal trading cards.

I'd forgotten about some of those businesses, which we (mostly me) did in our (my) spare time while working for someone else. My goal was to be self-employed and set my own hours. I spent five years looking and trying different types of businesses. Then in October 1995, I felt I found THE business that could lead me to self-employment. About that same time, my employer hired a supervisor for my department whose personnel philosophy I didn't agree with, so after a weekend of thinking and talking with my wife I made a decision. I quit my job at the computer software company and embarked on a sales career. Only problem is that I didn't have any sales experience.

I read sales books and started calling people who had my personal business. I made a few sales in the first couple weeks and received lots of encouragement, then I exhausted those contacts. Now I had to call people that I didn't know. The first half day was fine, then the rejections started. The more "no's" I heard, the harder it became to call. I never knew a telephone could weigh so much!

I found there were lots of tasks to running a business; I could easily fill my days organizing my office, designing (and redesigning) forms, even filing catalogs, anything but calling for appointments. Days ended being angry at myself for making few calls, and a promise to do better tomorrow. I struggled with sales, rejection, insecurity, you name the negative emotion, and I experienced it. I daydreamed about going back to work for my former employer, then I realized who my supervisor would be at the computer software company and knew there was no going back. I felt trapped. I couldn't go back, and I struggled in my current job. Unfortunately, the anger and insecurity I felt carried over to my personal life and how I treated Deb and others in her family, especially her mom, Ona.

The turning point came from an experience with Ona. Up to that time, when Ona, Deb, or I had a birthday or anniversary, the three of us would go out to eat. On a day prior to my birthday, Deb asked Ona when she wanted to go out to dinner with us to celebrate my birthday. "I don't do that with the rest of the family, and I'm feeling I need to be more fair with all my kids." Ouch! Ona has four children and seven grandchildren. I'd seen her interact with each of her children and grandchildren differently depending on their needs and personalities. I developed a bad habit of speaking abruptly to her, and I'm sure she didn't want to spend any time with me. I HAD TO CHANGE.

I started complimenting Ona (and Deb). I held my tongue when I felt compelled to make a wisecrack or express my dissatisfaction/disagreement with her over something. I treated her with the respect she deserved. My lack of self confidence didn't need to be taken out on her or Deb. Funny thing, I began to act the same way around other people and sales began to increase, which built my self confidence and self esteem.

I look back on the different types of businesses we tried, and I probably could have made any of them work with the right attitude, if I'd been willing to stick with it. However, once I started in a business where I had no option but succeess or alienate people in my business and personal life, I had to persist and change as required along the way. All over my website is the persistence quote, and I live by it. I internalized its meaning and that contributed to the success I've experienced since those early days in business. It took about 5 years before I felt relatively comfortable with sales but personal changes came a little sooner.

A year after my realization that I needed to change, Ona asked "Where do you want to go to dinner to celebrate your birthday?"